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Last message to the moderator: I have had enough of this crap. I do not want to dig any more mud and dirt here. So you can imagine my genuine surprise when I flew to Europe for a university exchange programme and started to be on the receiving end of a fair amount of male attention. The dark skin and curly hair that I was ridiculed for in Singapore were admired and complimented for the first time in my life. I did wonder if I was being exoticised by some European guys, but the fact that I had to even question why anyone would find me attractive reflected a bruised self-esteem that growing up as an Indian girl in Singapore had dealt me.
Before I say that minority women, especially those with darker skin tones, are generally considered to be less desirable in Singapore, I must admit that I personally know many dark-skinned Indian girls who are dating Chinese, Malay, Eurasian or Caucasian guys here. But the statistics suggest that I may quite possibly know all of them. Indian grooms and Chinese brides rounded up the top 5 ethnic group combinations at 5. I have also heard Chinese Singaporeans state unequivocally that they would never date Indians. Furthermore, conventionally Chinese or East Asian features are constantly lauded as the ideal standards of beauty in Singapore.
Numerous advertisements and the recent Cosmopolitan Singapore controversy are testaments to this. Would seeing a Caucasian man and a Chinese woman together elicit the same reaction? Strangely, the most disapproving looks I have received are from fellow Indians. Some of my male Indian friends have remarked to me that my decision to date a Caucasian man, presumably before other Indian men, speaks to a broader pre-occupation with the white male ideal. These friends have even implied that it is insincere of me to be critical of heterosexual white male privilege and date a white man at the same time.
This begs datnig question: Moreover, why does it appear incongruous when a white man and an ethnic minority woman are seen together? What sorts of power structures and hierarchies does this pairing upset? The answer is not as simple as saying that people prefer to stick to their own ethnic groups, where they can find partners with whom they have a greater cultural affinity.